Does qualification really matter?

We often like to hire people with the proper qualification. That’s the rule in the business world. But then again, what’s the point of having a PhD, know so much about the area he/she studied, but in the end, doesn’t really know how to interact with people?

This is another extension to my previous blog stating that a person should have certain characteristics. So what if you have such great qualification and you just don’t know how to deal with people. So what?

What if the person is good enough to do the work, but just doesn’t have the qualification? Does he/she get better pay? In reality, in the so-called Human Resources eye, they look at the qualification, and from their judgment the salary range before looking at any other aspects. I may be wrong, but so far, none has proved me otherwise.

Lets look at the reason why such organization hire people with a Bachelors, Masters or a PhD. The reason why they hire, is because they know that this people understand the area of specialty and would assist the organization. Second, with a paper qualification means to say that they have discipline. This looks at the Time Management (on time to class, on time in handing up assignment, etc.), Stress Management (able to handle many assignments/projects without going bonkers) and Character (his personality on how he/she handles himself/herself in the vicinity of the University/College, socializing and stuffs).

But that doesn’t mean those who can’t even afford to study unable to make it to the top. The chances for these people to make it, is lesser, as talent is not really looked into, but it is always the paper qualification first. Should this come in mind, are we really neglecting people who actually have the ability and even the skill for the job?

Beauty of the Company

How good can one company, though through the eyes of the public, its image was never in doubt. Their services and their products seem to be on the competitive edge, beating others in the market. But, deep down in the organization, what you can’t see apart from the exterior of the organization, the workings of the organization might not be what it seems.

People from the outside might say, “This company is very good”, “A classy organization”, “Wow, you work in that organization?” Words that expresses of astonishment, surprise or even disbelief that we actually land ourselves there. But truth to be told, that all organization, no matter how great they are to the public eyes, has its dark side.

This dark side can come from many aspects, it could be from the people on top, or it could be from the people below. Or it could be from both parties that makes the place a living hell.

The making of an organization is not about what the organization produces, which is in terms of their products or services, but the people inside this organization. There is such that an organization is made of many departments, which the managers running the department might be very good with their subordinates, hence a powerful and strong work force, but there is also some departments that the managers suck at handling people, practically a Tai-Chi master. I’ve mentioned this during my past blog on Tai-Chi masters.

But, there is some, though the managers are good, their staffs are just a bad lot. There is a possibility that this might happen, though some reading this might not agree, but there is such cases that happens.

So, what governs a good organization? Nothing… as good as one organization, it really depends on the chemistry of the people that work. How good is the group cohesion. As each individual is different from each other, therefore, some might be good in their attitude to work and fellow colleagues, while some others think for themselves.

Hence, the representation of an organization is as far to the surface of the organization, and not even seen the real contents. To some, they like their jobs, as the leaders might have led well, while some, are not sure what they are really doing. They are just lacking on the “people person” component.

Now these people who lacks this have hard time getting people to help them do the work. Worst still, will be left alone much without even considered to join in the group. They are really sad, and a little pathetic. But hey, they can change, if they want to. But if they don’t change because they think that they can order people around, as they are being a manager/leader/staff, they will continue to not progress. People change, so does how to handle people. The old ways need to change, making way for new things to come in.

Walk on by...

Try looking at the bright side of things, though it needs a little more pushing. Sometimes when we are being faced with choices, even though the choices can lead to a better path, might not necessarily means it is an easy as walking through the park.

The park needs to be cleared of weeds and infestations. In the end, it will give us a satisfaction, in a way at the end of the road a bright new day, but then, is it the real path that we are supposes to take.

Choices, that we have made, and chosen that particular path, somehow in the middle of clearing the path, we found out why the path was not cleared in the first place. Perhaps it is because there is a hidden trap beneath all the hidden weeds, or perhaps we are not strong enough to clear them. But we are half way through them. What shall be done? Go back? Can we?

If we go on forward, does it make is really want to see the end of the road that brings light? Or just the fact that since we have taken the path, we should just walk on and not bothered whether it fulfills our needs.

Hence, the path we choose when it is wrong, we face severe consequences out of the rewards that we gain, but at the expense of being happy.

So here we hope that by clearing the path, there is a crossroad that perhaps would be easier to walk, but then again, it won’t be that easy to find as it takes time.

Mistakes are made sometimes when choosing the wrong path, again we try to walk on and see if we can find another route.

Walking on a bumpy road

“Go for it! Don’t wait! Don’t sit there and do nothing! Seek for the thing you want.”

These are the words some of the people told me when they finished reading my blog. To set the record straight, I am. I am not waiting, nor that I am just desperately looking. It is just the pace that some of us take to go looking for something that we want.

There are some issues that I would like to acknowledge to the very few people who are concerned about my negative blogs. I agree that I write sometimes, the saddest, and in a way asking people for some pettiness, but I only write when I feel frustrated, sad or maybe bewildered by some events. It is seldom that I do write something of the category of “Happy Thoughts”. As a matter of fact, I don’t even write to tell people that I am happy. They can see me if I am happy but never in this blog. Perhaps it is this reason that most of the time that people think that I am a sad, negative and a pessimistic man.

Let’s shed some light on this topic. First of all, it is not that we are not looking for love or happiness, we are, but should we be desperately looking? It is just that when we find it, does it guarantee that it will work out fine? Answer, NO! There is no such guarantee that when we look for a person, that the love and happiness is returned when we are giving. It is a trial and error. The sad thing is that when we try and try, and it fails, it gets very frustrating that we just don’t want to go looking, but just let it come by itself. If it happens, let it happen, if it does not, are we going to curse? Who should we blame? There is no one to blame, so life goes on.

And even if we are desperately seeking, aggressively going after the other person, what do you think the other person would feel? “This person is psycho” might crop up in their mind. Let’s reverse the role, should the person desperately and aggressively goes after us, do we not feel that the person is a little cuckoo and you would wish this person just get out of your life?

The right to have the love and happiness is not only from ours, but it is also gained from the other person. If we don’t have that, we walk on alone. We are not the one who has the say in everything, but has to be a 2-way communication. We don’t have the right to tell what the person should do, nor should the other to tell us what we should do. We have the right to choose, so does the other party.

Yes, the road sometimes can be bumpy and dark; sometimes the road is easy to walk like a cool sunny day. And hence, some might feel the journey that I walk, the question is… “How long are we going to enjoy the cool sunny day?” An answer to this, no one knows. We have ups and downs. So perhaps these few months, my road was rather bumpy, and yet, I still walk on.

Journey...

We grow among the others
We grow to see others paired
We grow to have no one bothers
We grow to be more despaired

To seek the other’s approval
To seek the other’s love
We are asked for approval
We are asked for love

What we seek in others
The others seeks in us
Though some make it through
Some has yet to establish

We often question why
We wept and sigh
We look at the sky
We hope that light draws nigh

The turbulence of a journey
Has yet to settle in the sea
We seek to bury bad memories
Several we seek is in the sea

Many of times we try
Yet some we have failed
Hurt may come and we cry
Remain on while we are battered

The journey is always there
Either face it with misery
Or face it with care
It is ours to choose if we fancy

The cycle that rotates
The experiences we gain
Good and bad we possess
Hope we won’t fall hard again

Hurt will always be there
And sometimes we are in despair
Hurt is what we have to bare
Ensure our heart will be repaired

Envious eyes we can never have
As our time is yet to come
When we are in their place
Experience they have will be the same

Groupies

Do we fall into groupies? Though we might say we are not, but I guess most of the time, unknowingly, we group ourselves with the people we think are of that stature.

Imagine when you are a newbie, try to join a new group, you might get a little resistance, perhaps someone will block your way, if you need to join this group, you need to fulfill certain criteria. We try hard to blend in, but the group might have a secret conference to deliberate as to whether the group council will allow a newbie to join or not.

It sounds like those in the movies where there is a council for the towns people before deciding to accept based on the majority or you must pass the initiation test.

No doubt about it, we can't just easily blend in, sometimes we have to work so hard to make sure we can actually get into the group. Question, what happens if you succeeded? What's next? You get a medal? Jump for joy? Do you say, "Hey, I managed to join THE group!" What is it more than that?

And if you have become one of the member of the group, and should there be a newbie in the future, would you treat the person the same way you gone through?

Can't a simple hello and welcome is good enough no matter what or who you are? Can't we be that open? Even for myself, it is a little hard. How should we look at this? Ponder...

Love thy Friend or Love thy Loved One?

A: Hey, I met this person, charming. I think I might be going steady with him.
B: Oh, who is he?
A: Well, met him from the club, he’s tall, in his 30s, tanned.
B: Hmm, interesting. What does he do?
A: Oh, he works in the Bank; he’s a manager for the Customer Service Department.
B: By any chance his name is Joe? He happens to stay around PJ?
A: Yeah, that’s him. Wait a minute, how did you know him.
B: Ermm… well… I sort of met him 2 months ago. We had some occasional “fun”.
A: But he says that he is doesn’t delve in this sort of activity.
B: Apparently you’re wrong.

Based on this scenario, the thought of A finding the ONE love, smashed by B’s revelation on how this person Joe turn out to be.

So the question is if you were to be A …

1. Do you listen with an open heart and just smile, and thinking that, whatever Joe has done in the past has nothing got to do with me.

OR

2. Do you confront and question Joe of his ‘extra-curricular’ activity? And if so, you would dump Joe.

OR

3. Forget and not even want to let Joe know that you knew his past and never to call him again.

So, do we thank B for letting you know this news, or do we hate B for spoiling your dreams and thinking that maybe B has an ulterior motive? Above all, do we believe our friend or let love blinds you that you just want to have that person in your life and forget whatever that surrounds you. Your friends and family don’t matter, only this person you love. I guess most people who were in the relationship would understand what I mean, love is the utmost importance than anything else, even your career.

Instead of thanking the person who gave you the low down on what has happen, you hated the person so much, telling the person off and saying, “Why are you destroying something that I have?” We never let reality come in play; cause living in a love fantasy is so much better than have reality slap at your face.

Let’s face it; true friends are always there, friends are yet more important than just having the love of your life. The love of you life is just another BONUS to your life. If you can’t get this BONUS, you still need to move on.

How do we know what people want?

Do we really hear other people's thoughts? Does our action, even though it is sincere, but will be perceived as something different?

How could we gauge other people when they just keep to a minimal of small talk but does not express more or even communicate properly so that we know what we can do, or at least show us the way?

It is very frustrating when we tend to be friendly to the other, a simple rub on the hand, or maybe an arm around the shoulder of the other, would be perceived as being too sticky? If the other just keeps to himself/herself without saying anything. At the end of the day, when both say their goodbyes, the other would be saying in their mind "No way am I going to see him/her again." Perhaps later, telling it to their friends that it was the worst date that they have ever had.

It is true that we have to understand body language, but if the other party is not even showing their sign, how are we to know? And the most frustrating part, in the 6° of Separation, if you believe this theory, you might have the possibility to meet up with the friend of your encounter, and tells you how they felt when they were on a date with you.

To sum it up, come up front and say it and then all goes well, to a certain extent, ends well, though some ended up in a little heated up argument when you tell the truth, its better than keeping quiet or giving lame excuses.

What should we do...

What should we do when someone walks out of your life, telling you that they are not prepared to start a relationship with you?

Feel like someone just trying to crush your heart? Feeling like the heart is somehow getting harder to beat. As we try to get rid of the invisible hand that hold around our heart, making the heart to beat again as it used to, we heal and in time forget that this thing has happened, hence life goes on.

Years later, the person comes back and tells you sorry and would like to get back as friends, and not lovers. We would hate this person, but then again, the humbleness of the person to ask forgiveness, we forgive and forget.

But as the time to meet as friends, the feelings come back. The reason for loving the person, the way it should be but we didn’t get to experience it. And in one particular period of time when the two meets, the person asked for hugs, we comply, the touch, the warmness of the person makes your heart beat even faster.

The following of a kiss, a deep kiss and continuous closeness of each other makes it so perfect. But bearing in mind, the statement that the person made, “We are just friends, OK?” We don’t know what to do, but continue to embrace each other and kiss again and again.

What should we do, what should we continue to feel, is this normal after the incident that has made the heart beat so fast. The mind says, “Keep your distance”, but the heart says “Don’t let it go”.

It sounds that someone is playing with us again. But then again, why is this coming back to haunt us though the person has walked out of our life? Why should we feel the pain in the heart, the confusion in the mind about this matter? Shouldn’t the first experience tell us something?

It has… it has taught us something, to think logically and cautiously, but the heart… the heart doesn’t want us to think logically, doesn’t want to be cautious, but to grasp what we have missed before and to feel again that what it has been yearning for.

It is one sided love that the other does not think of us and once again, the feeling of being crushed in the heart comes back. Is there a need to forget this person who has come forward to ask for your friendship? But should friendship be with embraces and kisses? Should this be more than just friendship?

Confused… troubled…distraught… sadness…

Choices at the least most expected times

Why does it always happen when you are looking for something, you won’t be able to find it? But when you don’t look for it, it just appears right in front of you. Things happen when we least expect it to be.

Looking in the aspect of a relationship, when we are desperately trying to find someone to fill in the empty gap, we just can’t really seem to find any that really fits. In the end, we get nothing but frustration.

Through this kind of ordeal, some might just say, “Fine, since I can’t find one, might as well live a single life.” With this kind of thinking, we would try to get use of doing things alone and feel very happy with what we are right now and find that being single is not that bad at all.

As we go along life, the unexpected happens, someone that fits you pops up in front of you and seep into your life. The question would be; would you want to go on to your new found single life? Or would you accept this new person in your life and start the relationship?

Perhaps you wouldn’t mind changing back to the old life of being in a relationship, but to some, they might feel very tired to go over the cycle after finding out the life of being single.

So, do we say, “Come what may, if it comes, I’ll change again”, or “No, I’m tired of changing, leave me alone, I am fine with my new lifestyle”?

Some might have firm decisions to know what they are doing, but some are confused when being faced with this sort of situation. Even the firmest person will be in a dilemma when they reach this particular crossroad.

To those who really know what they want, then be what you are. To those who really don’t know what you should do, don’t worry, because you are not the only one that faces this particular problem. To really find the answer at the crossroad is to ask yourself “What do you really want?”

If your heart and mind tells you the decision, do not regret when you’ve chosen the road as once you go on, there is no turning back, but to wait for another crossroad to come and choose again.

Another hop...

It is time again that I venture forth to another green pasture. This has been my third jump since April. Though it sounds like a person who doesn't seems to keep his butt quietly at the same place, or a person who just like to change jobs out of the fun. But is seems not to be the case as it seems.

My first reason for changing the job was for a change of environment and to look for better income after stuck in the same organization for 14 years. Though it seems like a good place to work with the people, the benefits that I am getting from the company seems to grow lesser and lesser. So I jumped.

The second job I landed, hoping things are for the best, turned out to be the other. Total hierarchical, as if run under the 3rd Reich. Red tapes were a lot. Non dynamic people, old prunes and boot licking was all I see. Attitude is to either "follow the leader" or "wait and see" attitude. Though some of the benefits are better from my last job, but the environment made me want to just get out of it. Just as I was venting my frustrations all over, some had sore ears listening to my bantering, an unexpected call and another company asked me if I was interested to go for an interview. I went and I jumped again for greener pastures.

The third job was somewhat similar to my first job that I left, dynamic (to certain extent) , fast (to certain extent too); but one thing that made me wonder such a company has people, mostly of who are in the categories of:

Back Stabbers - These people are very dangerous, smiles nicely at you, and then reports to the bosses of the least wrong doing you've done, condemning you. Hello? Back stabbers? Nobody is born perfect you know? If you are ever so perfect, you'd be GOD!

Tai Chi Masters - These people who only of the top management. Says one thing at a particular time, forgets, but when it was the day being questioned of the reason why was the things approved, they say its not their fault and blame in on others. Another way of Tai Chi, is to push the responsibilities to others to take it. And when there is success, they will quickly take the credit for things that they have not done.

Slackers - When the bosses are not around, they take their pride in doing things SLOW and STEADY, when I mean slow, it is really really SLOW! Just when the bosses are back, you can't just imagine the speed they work! Faster than a speeding bullet. If not, they'd stack up things on their table, and when bosses passes by, hoping that the bosses sees them as productive worker. Mind you, that's productive thinker of a slacker.

I wonder if these people has really nothing else better to do but to think of ways to avoid and instigate on others. Better put the brain to something of a better use. But this time, though I've been trying to avoid as many of these type of people and coping with the job, lady luck just sat on my shoulder. Another call came, and another offer was made to me. Thinking of the benefits and the income that surpasses more than what I am currently working on, I decided to hop once more.

Coming this September, I will be going to another company with caution and to be a little self conservative as I would think that after so many jumps, I found that though there are some patches of the pasture is green, but there are some that is totally bad patches. Hence, I walk bravely to another pasture, only to hope to step on the greens and carefully avoid the bad ones.

Quest

Too much to ask
A simple request
Too little to embark
When there is no quest

Quest that is denied
Cannot be appealed
All seems comes to an end
Or set to be damned

Quest forward
Hard to trudge
Pushing without a road
Pushing to edge

Seeing of empty spaces
Fearing of darkness
Hearing of nothingness
Fearing of loneliness

Little to shine
Running to find
A little path to pace
Hoping discover something valued

Nothing much to ask
Nothing much to seek
But it is all deep inside us
Quest denied then commences

Knock, knock…is it clear?

Sometimes when you knock on the door, you could find what you’re looking for, but sometimes, not. To pass through this door, sometimes it easy to get in, sometimes you are not allowed; sometimes you invite yourself to leave before the host asks you to come in.

But what if it is this particular time, you manage to get into the door, but later to find out that they have been hiding things that they would not like you to see?

Apparently, those people who have been hiding things in the closet or basement would reveal sooner or later. Just as when we are getting comfy over the house sofa, you suddenly found something that you don’t like to see.

Some doors are open with the closet or basements open, letting you to see what they have inside, and it is up to us whether we would like to get comfy in the house.

Knocking on the door sounds like a salesman trying hard to sell things, and if we get the idea of how some shun off the salesman, I guess you could get idea how this would feel when we are being slammed at the door sometimes. Keyword: THICK SKIN

Trying too hard is sometimes tiring, trying too little, you get nowhere. I learned something through the experience of knocking on the doors. Regardless whether they are hiding something or not, do not get yourself too comfy till you are very sure that you’ve checked every nook and cranny of the house before calling a SAFE ZONE.

Tai-chi Masters

In the corporate organization, big or small, there are some Managers that really manage; makes the call of any decisions that comes and delegate duties accordingly and in a way, fight for their staff, taking the fall, making himself or herself responsible over the mistakes that are done.

But there are some, who manages, but in a way hopefully things will go alright, but if the problems crop up, he or she blames the others (the staff) for the blunders. We call these people the Tai-Chi Masters.

Scenario:

Staff: Hey, I have an idea that could increase the efficiency of our department. But it needs some commitment from the management.

Manager: Hmm, I think it might be good, why not you lead this little project of yours and see how it goes.

Staff: OK.

Assuming the little project didn’t go that well. And when the board of directors asked why has there been a problem in the manager’s department, he/she might have said, “Well, I didn’t put up with the staff decision to work on it. It was just an idea that I thought it might be good, but not to go ahead.”

This of course saves the ass of the manager, but not the staff, ending up getting a bad remark on their appraisals or even worse, getting fired.

Now this is what we call Tai-Chi, pushing the fault that was made by the manager to the staff, making the staff look bad.

This is just a simple scenario, but I bet there are lots of different scenarios that the bosses would save their own asses than to protect their staff. But if the project was good, the glory would be theirs and less on their staff, maybe by saying to the directors, “Well, I thought of it for sometime, so I decided to have a go at it”

It is not easy to work with this kind of people, staff takes the fall for all the mistakes that is done, but the glory will be theirs for the taking.

Frustrating it is at times when we come across these kinds of people, and if it just happens to happen this way, get a simple black and white. The Tai-Chi Master won’t be able to avoid a blow if there is such black and white being used against them if any blunder occurs. But if it seems that these managers never change their bad habits, it is best to look for a transfer or even look for another job that has managers that really leads you and helps you to learn to climb up the corporate ladder than those who just steps on your hands not letting you climb the ladder.

Reject, reject....

The ordeal of going through rejection is sometimes very hurtful. But to think about it, we might have done the same thing to the other and in return for doing that, you’d get the taste of being rejected.

When we are interested in someone, and try many ways to get this person’s attention, but in the end, the person might just say, “I don’t think it’s going to work out between us.” These particular words actually hit you so hard that you feel that someone has shot an arrow to your heart piercing it with the feeling of pain. We seek to find out the reason why this is happening to us, and in the end, the negativity in us builds so much that at times we look down on ourselves that we might not even want to take another step forward to look for another. Fishes in the sea might as well be swimming, but we just don’t have the mood to catch it up and say, perhaps this fish tastes good.

Come to think of it, think about the other party that has been pursuing us and we just couldn’t care less and think it’s not right for you. And when we reject the person, do we not put the same pain that we felt by being rejected? Is it karma? What goes around comes around?

We try so hard to understand that when people reject, it’s not the end of the world yet, and if you don’t succeed the first time, try again. To some, they have tried only few times that they finally succeeded, but to some, they try so hard, and yet still haven’t got anything yet.

The patience of one man does not stay forever thick as it grows thinner by the day when we urge for something and yet can’t get hold of it. “Patience is a virtue” to some people’s mind, but it is not true to some as the emotional build ups is so immense that the patience disappears and loneliness and misery kicks in to people’s mind. Thinking positive is good, but to some, it just won’t work. At times we just cry, keep quiet, stare blankly and the mind goes into limbo, thinking that if there is someone there for us.

Scream out if we can to say, “I want someone in my life that I can cherish and love!” But who can hear but yourself. It is just ourselves that we try to make it work and no one else. To give up is so easy, but the hurt will be starting to creep in, to be positive after rounds of rejection are also hard, but it’s not easy too as we need to heal yourself after the endless negative bash from the other party.

Be a loner, be a heart of stone, and let yourself to be that way and hurt will keep it at its bay. If we try to be that way, we would remove of what some other feels. But to be a person to have another in your life, take it up with great strength, as rejection is always an enemy around the corner and if we are wise to avoid its lashes, we will be fine, but once we are not careful, hurt is what we will get.

The satisfactory to someone’s perception

What does it take to make it work with someone when you are just you? A normal bloke, nothing outstanding or interesting, that does not even make an impression to someone’s mind?

How or what must be done? What if we took the effort to be noticed? You made yourself to be someone that is not the real you for a specific period of time. When you do get noticed, or perhaps get hitched, what’s next? Continue to be the ‘pretend’ person that you are not? What about the true you?

If for any instance that you do get to revert to your old self, would you automatically loose the person that you’ve got as the thing that hold both of you together is the NEW you and not the OLD.

Chances are you might loose this person that you like and hence, get yourself hurt. So do we keep pretending to be someone that you are not? Keep changing ourselves to suit another’s wants, but what about our wants? Is it wrong to be just ourselves? Do we live in a society that is judged by the way they want you to look and act and not the other?

Attention seekers have no problems coping with the society’s demand on how should they look and act. But the other group of people just doesn’t even care what other people think, as long as they are happy with how they look and act.

Living to the expectation on how people look at us is just hard, as we are disturbed psychologically with the social pressure that we did not ask but exist in the world we live in. Sometimes we are envious to some that are able to be what they are and to be able to cope with the environment, but there are some that is just hard to it.

As we see in the American Idol, not all can sing well and they are not musically gifted. Some are just plain tone deaf.

A remedy to this, never look down on yourself on the incapability that how other people see in us, but to work on it slowly on our own pace to suit the flow of your own life. Sooner or later, we will get noticed. Though there is no remedy to those who just want no change in your own and to get someone to notice you. In this world, to not get change won’t go really far compared to those who change little by little.

Ponder we shall.

A new day...?? Pastures greener?

I have officially stepped out of the company that I complained about and got myself a new job within 2 months of the old company. It is true that new job means new challenges, and new pay, but then, it is not necessarily a greener pasture. I've came to a company that is better in a way than the last company, but there is something that made myself well reserved that this company, though is good, but the system or even the people (some of them) that I am a bit reserved. Their thinking or even their mentality is somewhat similar to the one I left. Sigh.

What a way to start a chapter in my life, when there are smudges from the last page of the last chapter stained on the new page. Though the new job I have has better challenges and even better for my career path, it has come to a point that I wonder, will I be able to hold on to this company?

Does distance work?

The internet, the IT wonder, the barrier breaker. The technology that actually allows us to communicate with others on the other side of the world, from the humble beginning of email (pure text), to embedded pictures with email, through online messaging, though video chat, this has broken the boundaries of communication, virtually anyone with a PC and a broadband line, you can speak with anyone, see them with your webcam.

Well, some have developed romance on the cyber world; love at cam’s first sight and from there proposes their love. But there is one problem; they are thousands of miles apart separated by the sea, how far this love will grow apart from seeing each other in the net. Does this go further? We still need to touch the person, feel them to connect with them.

For some, maybe they will drop by during their holidays, to meet up and see if it is really worth going on. Now, if it does, what’s next? Go for a long distance relationship? How will this work? How long can it sustain? How long can we stand not seeing physically each other in the beginning of the relationship?

I don’t deny the fact that there are some who did some sacrifices, giving up their job and joining the other. But it doesn’t work for some when there are some who bare some responsibilities over their shoulder. Who wouldn’t just drop everything and go off to seek their own happiness?

When this happens, we have these running through our minds, “Why do you have to be so far away?” or “How I wish I could be there with you?” with a small follow up to that query “But I have something to take care of here.”

Despite of all the things that people say, “If there is a will, there is a way”, but sometimes, even the strongest will can’t even break the responsibilities that some of us shoulder.

It sounds downright negative, but yes, this is some of the things that does happen to some people, that they just have to let go and search for someone nearer, “Can’t go for the best you’ve found, find another then.”

When things comes to an end…

Couples that have been together for so long leads to two results, one to be continuously happy, and the other, living their lives separately, doing their own things, and in the end, who knows, divorcing each other after a long marriage. Though some call to talk it over about what seems to be the problem, and to see whether it can be solved, but then, it doesn’t work that way for some couples. Once a glass is broken, no matter how much glue you try to apply to stick it back together, it still ends up with cracks on the mirror.

It might be that two people that decide to go their own way, but there are some, between the two, that one of the party that wants out, and the other begging to give another try. For those who wants out, maybe, just maybe, a thought of relief and freedom, with a little spec of heartache. But to this people, they will just think “Time to start a new chapter!”

People who hurt most are those who are the ones trying to save the relationship, whereas the other just couldn’t wait to be out of the relationship. We need to look at this people and say, “Don’t worry, there are still others out there, though it might not be the same, but at least the others might be better than the one you have right now.”

Accept the fact that it is the end of the chapter for the one you loved, don’t blame yourself, as everyone in the world, not even your partner is perfect. Just be on the look out for someone better, perhaps it will bring you up to another level of higher satisfaction. Agree?

Another facet to an Open Relationship

Is it really true when people practice open relationship, the relationship will last compared to a monogamous relationship? What is the definition of open to some people? Some considered open to the extent of calling a 3rd person to join for occasional fun, while some define it as the couple go their own way to find their fun but just don’t let the other party find out.

How true or sure that you can keep you partner’s heart at bay? Will you have the fear that they will leave you if they find someone that maybe performs better than you? We can see this as lust, not love. It is because that when we find fun, and the fun turns out to be the best thing you’ve ever had and hope that you can have more, lust takes over and not love. So where does love come in?

Would this dampen a relationship that someone has? Could you loose your partner over lust? The answer to this, it is a 50/50 chance. As we go on further to define a relationship, we tend to say that love and lust works together. Without lust, but only love, when will it last? So when open relationship comes in play, are we prepared to face the day that we might loose a partner?

I am not saying people out there who practices open relationship will not last long, but there is a caution to this matter.

What if one suggest to have an open relationship, where the other tries to accommodate feels suffocated or stressed for the matter that “negative thoughts” might be playing in the mind. The aspect of one practices while the other does not, how far can one give in to the other partner’s wishes to go ahead?

If both agree to the fact are open, I guess this couple could last longer. But is there a 100% truth to this matter that open relationships can make the couple go on further.

More often than not, the only people who might get hurt are the ones being asked to have fun, knowing or not knowing that sparks might trigger and fall for a person who is already partnered.

The ultimate question that brings to the attention of couples that are practicing open relationship, it is necessary for you to have this and when is it enough?

Take the analogy of a person who has a salary of 1000. He says, “If I can get another 500, it should be enough”, but when the target is reached, another thought comes into the mind, “Maybe if I get 2000, it would be enough”. The fact is, it’s never enough. As human, the needs of a person changes so fast. It might satisfy but a short period of time, when the person gets bored with it, they would look for something new.

Can we control our needs? Will the person in front of you be good enough? Will this faithfulness ever stand or you see it cracking and in the end see it crumble.

Venting of a rambler...

A week has passed, and I have landed myself in a new job. Was suppose to be a joyful thing, but sadly, I have to agree with some people that there is no such things as “greener pastures” on the other side of the fence. Instead of the nice air that I suppose I was going to get, I got myself in a pile of crap.

I am not sure if its just me, or its just the environment, but listening to some people telling me that I’ve been too complacent with the old company, that I need some adjustment to do. It is true that this is the thing that we all will face when we move over to some new place/job.

The person that interviews you paints such a perfect picture, but the picture was not painted to beautify the picture, but just to paint over some of the areas that needs “touch up”. Though sometimes it is true not to show the true colors of the organization, but at least the person who interviews shouldn’t have paint a touch up on themselves too.

I am not sure whether to hate the leader or to hate the organization, but at this point of time, I hate both. The organization might be crappy in the way they manage, but if the leader of the department is as crappy as the organization itself, what is there to learn from the leader?

More of less, the environment does not even make the place as an enjoyable place to work with, but rather, people has been leaving the organization, to quote from one person who told me “People has been leaving after working here for just only 2-3 months”. Hearing from a person who has been on the top position really makes me wonder that its true that the organization, to the eyes of the public might be very good, but I guess the judging the cover is not a wise thing to do.

“Look at the organization’s background”, someone says, but I looked, and it is not bad, but I should look further, like interviewing the people within the organization and see if it is worth to work in an organization that it is considered “old school”. Rigid and red tapes are not the way to a new way of how organization should work on, but rather, for a bunch of “YES” people and subordinates are to follow “BLINDLY”

In reality, there is no way that we would know the unknown. Who would even want to allow some outsiders to uncover the things in the organization? So we have to say that we are just pending on our luck to see if we are lucky to be in the best or the worst place ever.

Ramble on.....Single/Couple??

Many things have happened during the past few months that I have kept writing out of my mind. The things I need to ramble were in the mind but never have the right time to really sit down in front of the computer to key in/pen my thoughts.

So again, I try to live up to my Blog’s name as to stay as constant as possible to ramble on. Let’s bring up a recent thing that I was discussing with a friend of mine, Abyssinian (nick name). While on our way back, she brought up a topic of “Don’t you feel lonely sometimes?”

I said it once a long time ago to certain friends who have brought up this question; again, it has its perks. Being lonely is sometime a good thing; you get to have time for yourself to do the things that you like to do and not to bother anyone around you to give opinions or noises going round your ears like an annoying mosquito. Towards this path, sometimes we are easily prone to make more mistakes than having another person’s opinion on things that you do. To quote “Two Heads are better than ONE”. The key thing in here in being a single person is FREEDOM. The freedom to do what you really want to do, without anyone putting a barrier in front of you and you have to do so much explanation or making people understand the reasons of why you do the things that they find it is not right. A path that when we enjoy, but to what extent?

Can we share it with someone? Imagine this simple scenario, a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle, the hours spent, days spent, finally, at the pinnacle moment, the last few pieces, you put it in, once completed, the sense of achievement, jumping for joy (maybe a little bit of exaggeration), you just want to say to someone, “Hey! I finished, I finished!” Here you were hoping that someone that will say congratulations, but you standing alone under a spotlight with confetti popping, but there is no one there to share with you the joy that you gain. The key thing that you loose from the FREEDOM is SHARING.

There are things that cannot be done alone, that it needs two or more people to complete the task. Just when you feel that you need someone to talk to, or maybe a shoulder to cry on, or perhaps, sexual needs! Seriously, you need someone. This is always a Ying and a Yang to things. Whatever good things of being single are the bad things to a couple, and vice versa.

I guess it’s easy to say that there are times that we need to be alone when and times that needs to be together. So, for those lonely souls walking around, find someone if you really need it, but if you think you can go on dragging through the single path, go on doing it, as it is not wrong being alone, as long we never blame ourselves for what path that we have chosen. Heck, its life. Live it.

Status Oh Status

The use of certain websites where your profile has been placed is to show the people around the world, to let them know who you are, place with/without a picture, what's your sexuality, preferences, and so on.

The one thing that I still don't understand is their status. Why when they are coupled, yet they put their status as single? Why after the long and pursuing intentions of knowing the person and hopefully get to see them or even a chance for love, they tell it in the last that they are coupled?

Do we forgive and forget these people who tends to hide behind the curtain? Or should we go on to know them as a friend, for the fact, we can't go further than just being friends.

Maybe they need a change in the picture. The truth is never out there till we uncover? Why should this come in play and do we single people have to fall into this little trap?

Could this in the end come to understand the other person would be telling lies in the further conversations and the other person is being unfaithful?