Scars

When a couple ended the relationship, there are two different type of behavior that you would see in these two individuals. One would be so glad that the relationship has ended while the other just couldn’t believe that the relationship they had has ended.

One will crave to have the relationship back. The other craves to look for another one better or maybe want to be single for the time being.

The concern would not be the one who would be happy for the reason that the relationship has ended as their mind would have the least pain, maybe a little reminiscence of what they have cherished, and the rest of the memories, one less big headache to think or to care about.

The concern, would be the one that just lost its partner, just couldn’t bear with the loss. The searing knife through the heart would best describe how this person would be feeling. Though it will heal, the scar would still remain. Not unless there is a scar remover is there to save the day, the healing would be only be part and not fully to the person.

As for the scar remover, this would only appear if the person who is feeling the pain to stop comparing whatever he/she had before with the one they have right now. If the person is way better than the previous, I would say that this sort of scar remover works very well. But if the scar remover is not that great, the pain is still there. It wouldn’t help; hence the best way is to tell the one who is hurting that there is no point in comparing. Enough of thinking back, thinking that they were in wrong, but to think that every experience is just part of the life; it is part of the learning curve of understanding what relationship is all about. There is no such thing as a bed of roses. There is no such thing as happily ever after. In every relationship, there are always ups and downs.

In reality, even the well educated in the world would face some problems in their relationship. So why blame on own self that we are the reason that the other does not want us. Why not think about, of they don’t want us, it’s their lost. They don’t even know what they have lost.

Some people may find a perfect match, those are lucky, some might not, and they have to try few keys in order to find the correct key to the door. Some people complain that things are not going their way. It is because they think that they are the problem, the next person standing in front of them somehow is invisible. They might even loose sight of what they longed to have but since people try hard to become visible in front of them would give up and perhaps try to knock on some other people’s door. Chance given and not taken will loose up even more as they are not open enough to accept.

Should the scar heal, removed or remains depends solely on how open one self is towards their perspective and beliefs of relationship.

Keeping up with the Joneses

I wonder if you have encountered this before, but the fact that I’ve been with some or more or less the different type classes of people, I can safely say that it is not easy to live up to some other’s people lifestyle.

I’d like to bring in an example of a bunch of guys who enjoys the finest things in life, coffees, dining; shopping should at least be in the standards of first upper to upper class price range. Any expenditure that goes lower that the price range, well not that they don’t go for the lesser, but the fact is that they only do it once in a blue moon, and that it considered lucky if you are able to find a specific time that they actually go for the simpler things.

Question is, if they spend as much as they could afford, and the others can’t, does that mean that they would only accept people of that stature and nothing less. Does that mean that any people who earns lesser than the others, or does not have the liberty to spend as unreservedly due to heavy commitments would deemed unworthy to join the group? Does it ever occur to the people who spend as much as they could ever think of the others who can’t afford? Does this means that the acceptance level of a friend, a buddy, a groupie has to be set to that?

I simply do not understand that in order to be with this bunch of people, you simply have to spend like they do. Is this the new requirement that needs to be set in order to join the band wagon?

Requirement Officer: Places to go for coffee?
A: Erm, mamak stall
B: Starbucks of course
Requirement Officer: Places to go for dinner?
A: Mamak of course, simple and cheap
B: Sheesh, somewhere posh I would say, perhaps dinner in Pavilion?
Requirement Officer: Well, Mr. A, I am sorry that you do not qualify to join the group as your requirement for the simple things in life does not fulfill our standards, but Mr. B, we welcome you with open arms!

If we are unable to join them, does it also mean that we are not worthy to be a friend to them or to even to be deserved to be called a decent human being? Are we all deemed as low life Homo sapiens that are not good enough for them? Why?

The value of oneself in an organization

Many things have happened these few days, and apparently, some for the good and some bad. As of September 2008, the rambler has once again left the organization and has landed in another. One year in the old organization has made this rambler missed certain things of the organization, and also happy for the fact that the rambler can officially say, “Good riddance to bad rubbish!”

The good and the bad of jumping to a new organization,

1) We have to built up our seniority in the organization again

2) Getting used to the new organization’s culture

3) Learning new things (that is if you are joining a different industry). This is a hard one as one has to learn to really get to know stuffs which might and might not be our cup of tea, but for the sake of money, we do it anyway, we have to bite the bullet.

4) Perhaps, this is just a perhaps, to climb up the new organization’s corporate ladder from the bottom up.

Some people will say, “Hey, its good for you, new exposure, better expansion of your skills, your resume’s gonna look good!” Come to think of it, it is easier said than done. The other people are only able to say, but it is us that we have to really go through the obstacles that are presented to us.

Again, there is never a greener pasture in wherever we go, well a little bit of green patch here and there. But the rest, it is like “Holy shit! I have to do this?” It is so true that when the organization hires you, it is not for the reason of expanding, but mostly is because their human capital in the particular department has been depleted, and we are going in to fill in the blanks.

What is more saddening is that there is always an ulterior motive of why we are hired for the organization. It is not the value of our skills that we have been hired, but for the fact that we can actually give information of what you have in your previous company and being used in the new. Now, is this what we call value? Are we really being appreciated to enter the new organization for the fact that our skills carry some credentials, or for the fact that we have some information, that they would like to take from us?

It is suppose to be a win-win situation, but till now, after a week in the organization, I see that the main reasons for hiring is more of the organization’s winning side, and as for me, nothing much to look forward to.

How is it that an organization is to compete is to look at how much they can pinch from the other organization, and use you to the fullest, and perhaps, just perhaps that we are being awarded for leaking previous organization’s information to the new.

To survive in the new organization, is to use what we have from the old, and place it to the new, hence, a porting of information or secrets.

In the end, are we branded a spy?

The Hi-Lo of a Job/Comany

Coming to a year, in a job which I hope will last me a couple of years before I climb higher ended up in shambles when things began to become a little shaky. It has come to a point where situation arise, do I work for the money which also means that I have to suffer all the pain and torture from the company? Or do I work for the enjoyment of working (which of course, money counts).

Regardless of how hectic the work is, but if we do enjoy the job, we would likely to stay on with the company. But if the work is hectic, but do not even enjoy the job; it automatically makes us sick to the bone. That would means that we are hoping to get out of the situation, hence, looking for another job.

Here are two situations:

If the company is good with its benefits and pay, but hires you for the wrong job, would you consider staying?

If the company is not really good with its benefits and pay, hires you for the right job, would you consider staying?

I believe that some people come across these two situations above. But do we get a chance to get to have the best of both situations above, good with its benefits and pay, with you liking the job?

Sometimes when we are hired, we may just be filler to a job but you are not good at the work, you would automatically prove to the people that you are not efficient or effective. Would this leave a scar in our records to HR when the dreaded yearly performance evaluation is done?

Though some people might say, because of the good benefits and pay, we should strive on to work in the organization, but at the expense of having heart palpitations every time when we are in the office. The joy of feeling happy was automatically sucked away leaving you drained and tired. It takes a lot to build up one person’s confidence and emotions to be very happy, but it only takes one sweep by the company, we fall flat.

Does the company actually know what it means by hiring the people for the right job? Or they are just building the human capital in the organization, just to ensure that someone is there to do the work. But when faults or problems arise, we are the ones that are being punished.

Somehow, the way we look at the company, is the way we look at our superiors. It is our superiors that represent the company and we would automatically see the company through our superiors. Though the company might be good in any sense, we are forced to leave just because we are being penalized by our superiors and the fact they do not see that they made the wrong move in the beginning. Hence, we see the company as a bad place to be.

"Hire the right person for the job and not just hire for the sake of hiring."

Nuff said

The Change of the Blog name....

Of late, I have never kept up with the title, hence I decided to change, from the constant to a not-so constant ramblings. As work is one of the main key factor that is making me not think for what I should be writing, I rather change it to not-so. But I will try to keep up to the writings that some of my friends who visited and waited for something to be written.

The shortest topic of this blog. But will tend to have something after this topic. I should be having something to write during my compulsory '5 days' block leave.

Till then...another coming up soon...this week, I hope. :P

The Way We Are

We are governed by the surroundings or the environment to become what we are now. I believe it so as I am being brought up in a country that doesn't really like to voice out opinions in the public, but the raging voice inside our hearts keeps on burning. I find this kind of unhealthy, as it stresses our hearts and maybe our minds when we keep on harping on the same issues, but never once been voiced out but just within ourselves.

When I am encountered with different people, I tend to see different types of behavior or attitudes. But I will just generalize it to two groups, the timid mouse and the roaring tiger.

You may agree with me that, if we are brought up in this motherland, we are never the ones to really stand up on our own two feet, be thick skin about it and just blast out our opinions. We rather keep it to ourselves and grumble for all we want. Come to think of it, if you just grumble to yourself, how are others going to know what you feel, what your opinion is on certain topics? It could be that our opinions or comments might be really useful. But we keep saying to ourselves, "Someone or someday, they will have the solution, but right now, I'll live through it, even I don't like it." This is of course, the timid mouse.

The other speaks aloud, making sure they have their point being heard. This is the exact opposite of what the timid mouse would be like; hence this group is called the roaring tiger. These are the people who are either studied abroad in the western countries or maybe been sent over by their company or maybe decided to try the world outside the motherland and expose themselves. These people will be influenced, or some how learn to be vocal. The exposure of the other country’s facts of life, the culture will inject in the people and in a way be assimilated. It is like a total makeover of a person, who used to be the timid as a mouse, would automatically change to the roaring tiger once they were exposed to the other country’s environment.

Question… Will there be enough people that have been exposed overseas, coming back to the motherland, to be able to influence the timid mouse to be as vocal and slowly changing them to become a roaring tiger? Or should the culture and the environment of this motherland to be changed to accept the voice of the people rather than to assume that without any objection would automatically means consent?

The mind and the heart

I have many in my mind
I know nothing to define
Of what has to be first
Or second to come after

A blurry state of mind
And yet nothing comes in sight
I wonder why this happens
When there are paths to clear

I seek to find an answer
That dwells inside my mind
And yet the heart goes wander
That mixes my mind to decide

The logic of the mind
The feeling of the heart
To make a decision is hard
When two does not consent

I seek to boldly move
Yet fear is in the way
The mind is strong to go
The heart is weak to follow

I am in the rut
I feel I am so stuck
It feels so easy to others
And yet I can’t make it through

Should I make the move?
To go for the uncertainty
A challenge behold
Is yet for me to see

Can the non-norms be in the ordinary world?

There are some people that like to do things that is only to the satisfactory of the public, but is it necessarily important when the things we do must really have other people's consent of even their approval.

I've come across a person, who is going to "consummate" or in any other words, giving up his total freedom and to just get himself locked to a room and throw away the key.

If you understand the metaphor above, I guess you know what I mean. To be accepted totally by the public in the world is so important in some different "classes" of people that I wonder, who set up this rule and why must it be a so called "GOLDEN RULE". Can it not be just an extraordinary from the group of norms?

To those who still don't know what I mean on the above, here's the reason to the above. A person finding a way out, a breather who goes into the so called "marriage", totally lies to the other (for saving his own butt), trying to tell himself, that he is, one of the norms. But knowingly, deep down inside this person, he has the quality to become a norm (by pretending), in the event trying so hard and just making it a normal life.

Though I may not agree to the actions the person has done, but I sort of pity this sort of a person for doing this to just have the approval of many, especially in the eyes of the public.

How can this be and how long does it take? When should the ordinary be able to accept the extraordinary?

Out with the old, in with the new??

Many of the times, when we see an item that we really like, we would find ways to have it. We would think about it, talk about it if ever there is a chance to other people about the item we fancy. In due time, after the long craving for it, it finally reaches to our hands.

We would care for the item, making sure that it is protected from harm, feels hurt when it actually it gets a little scratched, blaming ourselves for such carelessness, or even get mad with the people around us if they ever damage a little on the item.

As time goes, we care lesser on the item than we cared for during the earlier stages when the item was quite new. The concern or care of the item grows lesser. Not even bothered if it is dropped on the floor. By this time, the thought would be, “Well, if its broken, will get a new one.” It is true that the fact our interest of an item would not last, but will look for something new when one is bored over the old item.

So if we reflect the above analogy towards a couple, one chasing the other, making sure that one gets the other no matter what, love sparkles, full of passion and intense romance but in time when both are bored with each other, sparks fade, passion which drives both of them dissipates, and when there is nothing that binds them together, it breaks.

Like an item, how can we keep on using it and not get bored with it, which reflects on one person, how do we keep the love alive when things begin to get too routine, and then, there is nothing new for them. They talk lesser; see each other lesser, or even not doing things together.

Is it true that, by human nature, that we are always looking for something new, and hence keep changing partners? What would be the winning formula that we should be using to make the spark going on? Should trying something new all the time would work, but in the end, there is not going to be lots of things to try if we have exhausted all options of trying things new.

Would it be inevitable that we face the consequences of losing the other because there is nothing new in the relationship?

Glory, who's should it be?

The constant rambler seems to have not live up to the expectations of the blog’s name. Hence, this year, the constant rambler has to try to achieve and live up to the name, to be the ‘constant rambler’ rather than the ‘not so constant rambler’.

Today’s topic reflects on the event that I was part of it. And know this, though their position or rank supersedes my rank, they are no better and I wonder why they can’t be just be open, but rather, thinks that they are so right.

The event was first in the company, and no one knows how things should run or what needs to be done. Hence, topic should be open to everyone to table it out. But to some people, they weren’t the so-called helpful ones. Their presence for meetings were never here, but when the event is nearing to the actual day, they appear with enthusiasm and start giving opinions on what should be done and what should not be done. When this thing happens, changes were made, and last minute changes were never a good thing. The question to this is, why make such a fuss of things when they weren’t even involved in the beginning.

And yet, they look so concern in front of everyone, making stern decisions that they not know about, and showing that their presence are felt during the day of the event. It goes to show that these people are there to assure that the big boss really sees that they are involved, but as a matter of fact, they are not but only to the very last minute.

Being a person who knows the knick and knacks of things, even opinions are given are shot down by people who has not even experience this sort of event. They are proud of themselves of what they hold as their position, but did not realize, that the position they hold does not mean they know every single thing. The course of any event is gone through experiences and if such experiences are not gained, be humble to accept people’s advice or opinion and work on that platform.

And again, because of their relentless effort on that day, they say to themselves, what a day, in front of other people, where we know that they were there just for the day and we ourselves have been doing things and working on stuffs since day one.

Painstakingly, we have to accept this, as we are in no position to question them on their whereabouts or even on what did they actually do, as the position we hold is not as high as they are. To those who just point fingers and do the job, you are not really learning, but just riding on other’s effort to make your own glory. Glory that I find it not worth giving to such people.