Groupies

Do we fall into groupies? Though we might say we are not, but I guess most of the time, unknowingly, we group ourselves with the people we think are of that stature.

Imagine when you are a newbie, try to join a new group, you might get a little resistance, perhaps someone will block your way, if you need to join this group, you need to fulfill certain criteria. We try hard to blend in, but the group might have a secret conference to deliberate as to whether the group council will allow a newbie to join or not.

It sounds like those in the movies where there is a council for the towns people before deciding to accept based on the majority or you must pass the initiation test.

No doubt about it, we can't just easily blend in, sometimes we have to work so hard to make sure we can actually get into the group. Question, what happens if you succeeded? What's next? You get a medal? Jump for joy? Do you say, "Hey, I managed to join THE group!" What is it more than that?

And if you have become one of the member of the group, and should there be a newbie in the future, would you treat the person the same way you gone through?

Can't a simple hello and welcome is good enough no matter what or who you are? Can't we be that open? Even for myself, it is a little hard. How should we look at this? Ponder...

Love thy Friend or Love thy Loved One?

A: Hey, I met this person, charming. I think I might be going steady with him.
B: Oh, who is he?
A: Well, met him from the club, he’s tall, in his 30s, tanned.
B: Hmm, interesting. What does he do?
A: Oh, he works in the Bank; he’s a manager for the Customer Service Department.
B: By any chance his name is Joe? He happens to stay around PJ?
A: Yeah, that’s him. Wait a minute, how did you know him.
B: Ermm… well… I sort of met him 2 months ago. We had some occasional “fun”.
A: But he says that he is doesn’t delve in this sort of activity.
B: Apparently you’re wrong.

Based on this scenario, the thought of A finding the ONE love, smashed by B’s revelation on how this person Joe turn out to be.

So the question is if you were to be A …

1. Do you listen with an open heart and just smile, and thinking that, whatever Joe has done in the past has nothing got to do with me.

OR

2. Do you confront and question Joe of his ‘extra-curricular’ activity? And if so, you would dump Joe.

OR

3. Forget and not even want to let Joe know that you knew his past and never to call him again.

So, do we thank B for letting you know this news, or do we hate B for spoiling your dreams and thinking that maybe B has an ulterior motive? Above all, do we believe our friend or let love blinds you that you just want to have that person in your life and forget whatever that surrounds you. Your friends and family don’t matter, only this person you love. I guess most people who were in the relationship would understand what I mean, love is the utmost importance than anything else, even your career.

Instead of thanking the person who gave you the low down on what has happen, you hated the person so much, telling the person off and saying, “Why are you destroying something that I have?” We never let reality come in play; cause living in a love fantasy is so much better than have reality slap at your face.

Let’s face it; true friends are always there, friends are yet more important than just having the love of your life. The love of you life is just another BONUS to your life. If you can’t get this BONUS, you still need to move on.

How do we know what people want?

Do we really hear other people's thoughts? Does our action, even though it is sincere, but will be perceived as something different?

How could we gauge other people when they just keep to a minimal of small talk but does not express more or even communicate properly so that we know what we can do, or at least show us the way?

It is very frustrating when we tend to be friendly to the other, a simple rub on the hand, or maybe an arm around the shoulder of the other, would be perceived as being too sticky? If the other just keeps to himself/herself without saying anything. At the end of the day, when both say their goodbyes, the other would be saying in their mind "No way am I going to see him/her again." Perhaps later, telling it to their friends that it was the worst date that they have ever had.

It is true that we have to understand body language, but if the other party is not even showing their sign, how are we to know? And the most frustrating part, in the 6° of Separation, if you believe this theory, you might have the possibility to meet up with the friend of your encounter, and tells you how they felt when they were on a date with you.

To sum it up, come up front and say it and then all goes well, to a certain extent, ends well, though some ended up in a little heated up argument when you tell the truth, its better than keeping quiet or giving lame excuses.

What should we do...

What should we do when someone walks out of your life, telling you that they are not prepared to start a relationship with you?

Feel like someone just trying to crush your heart? Feeling like the heart is somehow getting harder to beat. As we try to get rid of the invisible hand that hold around our heart, making the heart to beat again as it used to, we heal and in time forget that this thing has happened, hence life goes on.

Years later, the person comes back and tells you sorry and would like to get back as friends, and not lovers. We would hate this person, but then again, the humbleness of the person to ask forgiveness, we forgive and forget.

But as the time to meet as friends, the feelings come back. The reason for loving the person, the way it should be but we didn’t get to experience it. And in one particular period of time when the two meets, the person asked for hugs, we comply, the touch, the warmness of the person makes your heart beat even faster.

The following of a kiss, a deep kiss and continuous closeness of each other makes it so perfect. But bearing in mind, the statement that the person made, “We are just friends, OK?” We don’t know what to do, but continue to embrace each other and kiss again and again.

What should we do, what should we continue to feel, is this normal after the incident that has made the heart beat so fast. The mind says, “Keep your distance”, but the heart says “Don’t let it go”.

It sounds that someone is playing with us again. But then again, why is this coming back to haunt us though the person has walked out of our life? Why should we feel the pain in the heart, the confusion in the mind about this matter? Shouldn’t the first experience tell us something?

It has… it has taught us something, to think logically and cautiously, but the heart… the heart doesn’t want us to think logically, doesn’t want to be cautious, but to grasp what we have missed before and to feel again that what it has been yearning for.

It is one sided love that the other does not think of us and once again, the feeling of being crushed in the heart comes back. Is there a need to forget this person who has come forward to ask for your friendship? But should friendship be with embraces and kisses? Should this be more than just friendship?

Confused… troubled…distraught… sadness…