Does distance work?

The internet, the IT wonder, the barrier breaker. The technology that actually allows us to communicate with others on the other side of the world, from the humble beginning of email (pure text), to embedded pictures with email, through online messaging, though video chat, this has broken the boundaries of communication, virtually anyone with a PC and a broadband line, you can speak with anyone, see them with your webcam.

Well, some have developed romance on the cyber world; love at cam’s first sight and from there proposes their love. But there is one problem; they are thousands of miles apart separated by the sea, how far this love will grow apart from seeing each other in the net. Does this go further? We still need to touch the person, feel them to connect with them.

For some, maybe they will drop by during their holidays, to meet up and see if it is really worth going on. Now, if it does, what’s next? Go for a long distance relationship? How will this work? How long can it sustain? How long can we stand not seeing physically each other in the beginning of the relationship?

I don’t deny the fact that there are some who did some sacrifices, giving up their job and joining the other. But it doesn’t work for some when there are some who bare some responsibilities over their shoulder. Who wouldn’t just drop everything and go off to seek their own happiness?

When this happens, we have these running through our minds, “Why do you have to be so far away?” or “How I wish I could be there with you?” with a small follow up to that query “But I have something to take care of here.”

Despite of all the things that people say, “If there is a will, there is a way”, but sometimes, even the strongest will can’t even break the responsibilities that some of us shoulder.

It sounds downright negative, but yes, this is some of the things that does happen to some people, that they just have to let go and search for someone nearer, “Can’t go for the best you’ve found, find another then.”

When things comes to an end…

Couples that have been together for so long leads to two results, one to be continuously happy, and the other, living their lives separately, doing their own things, and in the end, who knows, divorcing each other after a long marriage. Though some call to talk it over about what seems to be the problem, and to see whether it can be solved, but then, it doesn’t work that way for some couples. Once a glass is broken, no matter how much glue you try to apply to stick it back together, it still ends up with cracks on the mirror.

It might be that two people that decide to go their own way, but there are some, between the two, that one of the party that wants out, and the other begging to give another try. For those who wants out, maybe, just maybe, a thought of relief and freedom, with a little spec of heartache. But to this people, they will just think “Time to start a new chapter!”

People who hurt most are those who are the ones trying to save the relationship, whereas the other just couldn’t wait to be out of the relationship. We need to look at this people and say, “Don’t worry, there are still others out there, though it might not be the same, but at least the others might be better than the one you have right now.”

Accept the fact that it is the end of the chapter for the one you loved, don’t blame yourself, as everyone in the world, not even your partner is perfect. Just be on the look out for someone better, perhaps it will bring you up to another level of higher satisfaction. Agree?

Another facet to an Open Relationship

Is it really true when people practice open relationship, the relationship will last compared to a monogamous relationship? What is the definition of open to some people? Some considered open to the extent of calling a 3rd person to join for occasional fun, while some define it as the couple go their own way to find their fun but just don’t let the other party find out.

How true or sure that you can keep you partner’s heart at bay? Will you have the fear that they will leave you if they find someone that maybe performs better than you? We can see this as lust, not love. It is because that when we find fun, and the fun turns out to be the best thing you’ve ever had and hope that you can have more, lust takes over and not love. So where does love come in?

Would this dampen a relationship that someone has? Could you loose your partner over lust? The answer to this, it is a 50/50 chance. As we go on further to define a relationship, we tend to say that love and lust works together. Without lust, but only love, when will it last? So when open relationship comes in play, are we prepared to face the day that we might loose a partner?

I am not saying people out there who practices open relationship will not last long, but there is a caution to this matter.

What if one suggest to have an open relationship, where the other tries to accommodate feels suffocated or stressed for the matter that “negative thoughts” might be playing in the mind. The aspect of one practices while the other does not, how far can one give in to the other partner’s wishes to go ahead?

If both agree to the fact are open, I guess this couple could last longer. But is there a 100% truth to this matter that open relationships can make the couple go on further.

More often than not, the only people who might get hurt are the ones being asked to have fun, knowing or not knowing that sparks might trigger and fall for a person who is already partnered.

The ultimate question that brings to the attention of couples that are practicing open relationship, it is necessary for you to have this and when is it enough?

Take the analogy of a person who has a salary of 1000. He says, “If I can get another 500, it should be enough”, but when the target is reached, another thought comes into the mind, “Maybe if I get 2000, it would be enough”. The fact is, it’s never enough. As human, the needs of a person changes so fast. It might satisfy but a short period of time, when the person gets bored with it, they would look for something new.

Can we control our needs? Will the person in front of you be good enough? Will this faithfulness ever stand or you see it cracking and in the end see it crumble.

Venting of a rambler...

A week has passed, and I have landed myself in a new job. Was suppose to be a joyful thing, but sadly, I have to agree with some people that there is no such things as “greener pastures” on the other side of the fence. Instead of the nice air that I suppose I was going to get, I got myself in a pile of crap.

I am not sure if its just me, or its just the environment, but listening to some people telling me that I’ve been too complacent with the old company, that I need some adjustment to do. It is true that this is the thing that we all will face when we move over to some new place/job.

The person that interviews you paints such a perfect picture, but the picture was not painted to beautify the picture, but just to paint over some of the areas that needs “touch up”. Though sometimes it is true not to show the true colors of the organization, but at least the person who interviews shouldn’t have paint a touch up on themselves too.

I am not sure whether to hate the leader or to hate the organization, but at this point of time, I hate both. The organization might be crappy in the way they manage, but if the leader of the department is as crappy as the organization itself, what is there to learn from the leader?

More of less, the environment does not even make the place as an enjoyable place to work with, but rather, people has been leaving the organization, to quote from one person who told me “People has been leaving after working here for just only 2-3 months”. Hearing from a person who has been on the top position really makes me wonder that its true that the organization, to the eyes of the public might be very good, but I guess the judging the cover is not a wise thing to do.

“Look at the organization’s background”, someone says, but I looked, and it is not bad, but I should look further, like interviewing the people within the organization and see if it is worth to work in an organization that it is considered “old school”. Rigid and red tapes are not the way to a new way of how organization should work on, but rather, for a bunch of “YES” people and subordinates are to follow “BLINDLY”

In reality, there is no way that we would know the unknown. Who would even want to allow some outsiders to uncover the things in the organization? So we have to say that we are just pending on our luck to see if we are lucky to be in the best or the worst place ever.

Ramble on.....Single/Couple??

Many things have happened during the past few months that I have kept writing out of my mind. The things I need to ramble were in the mind but never have the right time to really sit down in front of the computer to key in/pen my thoughts.

So again, I try to live up to my Blog’s name as to stay as constant as possible to ramble on. Let’s bring up a recent thing that I was discussing with a friend of mine, Abyssinian (nick name). While on our way back, she brought up a topic of “Don’t you feel lonely sometimes?”

I said it once a long time ago to certain friends who have brought up this question; again, it has its perks. Being lonely is sometime a good thing; you get to have time for yourself to do the things that you like to do and not to bother anyone around you to give opinions or noises going round your ears like an annoying mosquito. Towards this path, sometimes we are easily prone to make more mistakes than having another person’s opinion on things that you do. To quote “Two Heads are better than ONE”. The key thing in here in being a single person is FREEDOM. The freedom to do what you really want to do, without anyone putting a barrier in front of you and you have to do so much explanation or making people understand the reasons of why you do the things that they find it is not right. A path that when we enjoy, but to what extent?

Can we share it with someone? Imagine this simple scenario, a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle, the hours spent, days spent, finally, at the pinnacle moment, the last few pieces, you put it in, once completed, the sense of achievement, jumping for joy (maybe a little bit of exaggeration), you just want to say to someone, “Hey! I finished, I finished!” Here you were hoping that someone that will say congratulations, but you standing alone under a spotlight with confetti popping, but there is no one there to share with you the joy that you gain. The key thing that you loose from the FREEDOM is SHARING.

There are things that cannot be done alone, that it needs two or more people to complete the task. Just when you feel that you need someone to talk to, or maybe a shoulder to cry on, or perhaps, sexual needs! Seriously, you need someone. This is always a Ying and a Yang to things. Whatever good things of being single are the bad things to a couple, and vice versa.

I guess it’s easy to say that there are times that we need to be alone when and times that needs to be together. So, for those lonely souls walking around, find someone if you really need it, but if you think you can go on dragging through the single path, go on doing it, as it is not wrong being alone, as long we never blame ourselves for what path that we have chosen. Heck, its life. Live it.

Status Oh Status

The use of certain websites where your profile has been placed is to show the people around the world, to let them know who you are, place with/without a picture, what's your sexuality, preferences, and so on.

The one thing that I still don't understand is their status. Why when they are coupled, yet they put their status as single? Why after the long and pursuing intentions of knowing the person and hopefully get to see them or even a chance for love, they tell it in the last that they are coupled?

Do we forgive and forget these people who tends to hide behind the curtain? Or should we go on to know them as a friend, for the fact, we can't go further than just being friends.

Maybe they need a change in the picture. The truth is never out there till we uncover? Why should this come in play and do we single people have to fall into this little trap?

Could this in the end come to understand the other person would be telling lies in the further conversations and the other person is being unfaithful?

Treasure or trash?

Are we treasure
Are we trash
Never sure
Never distinguish

Why is it that we would want to be
As this we are treated as we are
Does it mean that we are not true
To what we do, as hearts are true

The mighty seat above the triangle
See not what is done
But blinded they are
Listen by people as their guide

Rolling around emotions been played
Kicking around like a ball
When bore of the game they play
Abandon the ball will they all

As time goes by
When a need to play
The ball they seek
Continue they play

Looking for a new owner
To get treated better
Than to continue this hurt
Before our minds and hearts get battered

Crave...

Crave, does anyone have it?

The crave to have something, longing to have it, thinking about it day and night (maybe to much there…), whenever someone talks about the thing that you have been eyeing or fascinate on, or walked passed a display store, flipped through a magazine, saw from the net, you will say something like “Aww, wish I could have that…”, “That’s my target”, “Do you know what this thing can do?”, etc.

This would lead to the person trying to know the product inside out so well and maybe little drools dripping out from the mouth with sparks flashing in the eyes. (I guess you can imagine this sort of imagery whenever you watch anime, they are famous with that sort of expression).

But once you get your hands on it, the excitement dissipates, the climax has reached to the fullest and everything burst out, and then, what’s next?

Crave might eventually becomes a query, “Hmm, do I really need this”, “Should I waste my money on this”, “Hmm, nothing special”.

And from the query, it might lead to regrets, maybe misery.

The extent we want to get things, but only in the end to regret. How many of us felt this way?

To boldly step the first step where no one can push you...

When you look at a person that you’d think that he/she is your kind of gal/guy, how would you react? Needless to say that some will have many ideas popping out of their minds to think of ways to approach the other party, while some are grounded to face a little bit of what we call a “reality check”.

The things we say to ourselves somehow are a little damaging, even to the extent of minimizing the opportunity for you that this particular person might be the ONE.

How is it that we dampen our spirits and even our confidence? Perhaps we never want to know that if there is a slightest chance of getting the ONE that we wanted. Mostly we would have thoughts of “Better save myself from the rejection and the embarrassment”, or “Better not waste my time on something that I know will not happen”.

The problem is that we are never able to take the first step or to be thick skin enough. Should we be constantly be reminded this particular phrase “Never try, Never know”. Who knows? We might even hit the Jackpot!

Let us ponder…

Dark Clouds...

A sunny day
Clouded by uncertainty
Hearts that feel light
Suddenly turns heavy

Surroundings never show
An invisible force lingers slow
People that suddenly clouded
Suddenly feels bad, moody and sad

Worrying of why
Worrying of how
Worrying of where
Worrying of something to be aware

Clouds of invisibility
Clouds that moves slow
Clouds that does not give warning
Clouds that are are slowly scaring

Damper the spirits
To whom it might be affected
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to hide

Pray oh pray
Don't let this heart wander away
Let this dark clouds be away
Or fear will come and will be here to stay

Perfect to whose eyes?

Sometimes we ask, what is really considered perfect? Should there be always be a prince charming for a beautiful princess; or prince charming for a prince charming? LOL

When we look at a couple, if it does not look like it should be a perfect pair (in one’s perception), a Brad Pitt look with a Tony Shalhoub or a Tom Cruise with Kathy Bates look, you’d say “I don’t think they are a perfect match”, “Something’s wrong with this picture that I can’t put my finger on.” But who are we to say that a perfect couple is “not-so” perfect”?

To some people, the quote, “Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder” sums it up to anybody’s question on his “not-so” perfect match. The standards that we put for ourselves are different from others, where some might agree with your comment, while others tend to disagree.

Try to take the analogy of what is considered a perfect home to a perfect match. Some people would like their home to be a Zen design, practically simple and less complicated furniture or antiques while others would look for a Balinese mix of Tropical design.

It all comes to a person’s taste. So when it comes to the question of what type of guys/gals you are looking for, and one states, “I like him/her to be manly/slender built, intelligent and caring”, but in the end finds a less than average guy/gal with less of what is stated, you’d be questioned “That’s what you call your perfect candidate?”

It really depends on what is the level of acceptance of what each person’s standards are. Be very aware or what we say sometimes to other people (even unintentionally), the situation might just fall on us. When faced with the statement “Hey, he’s/she's not quite your match”, we’d be answering “Well, in my eyes, he’s/she's perfect in every way.”

To find a job...

Do we really know what we know or it'’s just good enough for you to pass up as a knowledgeable person?

I bring this particular thought up is because when I got the boot from my company, and looking through the ads for jobs, I felt like, "I know some of this, but then again, I am not sure whether I fit for the job". Should we say upfront to the interviewer, "I know some of this, but am willing to learn the rest if given the chance". Will the interviewer think, "Hmm...Nah, not what we are looking for".

OR

Should we say "I know all these, and I am experienced", but later to find that you are not, you'll get the boot from this new company.

Should we play safe by being honest or should we lie to risk our name getting tarnished in the corporate world?

But where do we learn to be the all knowledgeable? It'’s from a company that gives a chance for you to grow. But how many will allow you to do so?

The quote "“Jack of all trades, Master of None"” comes in play, as how proficient we are in the company, but you master none of it, the chances of getting a job is kind of slim. But then again, if you master only one and the job out there needs you to be more than just one particular skill? Then the "Chicken and Egg" situation comes in play. Strange enough, this is how the corporate world is like.

Looking for a job is easy if expectations are lesser, but when there is a load on your shoulders, it'’s a different ball game all together. We want so much to find a job that'’s going to pay well.

You tend to try to find a good job for yourself; the employer tries to find a good employee. Till that chance comes, all we can do is keep searching till one comes by.

Lock and throw away the key?!.. (Part II, the additional to Memories)

When you think about the past, is it normal that we feel happy/bad? Does that mean we are not getting over the past?

Can we leave it as in one of the locked drawers? Somehow if you agree with me, the key finds its way back to the lock and unlocks it. When it does, mix emotions flooding out of the drawer. When this happens, people beside you feel it.

“I am fine”, “No, nothing is wrong”, “Don’t worry”, “I am still with you aren’t I”, “I’m OK”. These are the words we normally hear. Be weary as some feel insecure (to those who are coupled), when they sense you have the sudden change of mood/expression.

It is hard to find any solution to an insecure heart as the other finds it hard to believe that their presence is never enough or appreciated compared to the one that has affected you in the past.

Assurance and constant assurance is all we have to give to the other party. But when it is enough? It is never enough to make that sort of assurance.

Learn to put up a face when this happens as this will surely be the best way to avoid any unwanted scenes. So, to lock and throw away the key, its just a thing you can do for a certain period of time as it will, a guarantee that will creep back into your life.

Memories

When you look at the sky, sometimes it’s clear, sunny and warm, sometimes it’s cloudy, gloomy and cold. When we see the changes in the sky, it reflects a little on what we are feeling at times. We have the best of time; we have the worst of time. We enjoy some of the times that makes you remember that special day, but it will also make you remember the worst day in your life.

Memories is all we have when we see this in the sky, sometimes you tell yourself, don’t think of the past, but this sort of memory does not lay dormant, it sometimes creep back, and bang, hits you in your head. You might laugh, smile, smirk, weep, etc. Some crave that they wish they were back to the good old days; some just couldn’t wait to say “Good riddance”; some wish they could mend the things that they did wrong.

But truly, it’s just something that we have to just look at it, and walk away. Through memories we learn, learn what should not be repeated, learn that there are more things than life itself than oneself, and the list goes on to what we could learn from it.

Each experience passed becomes a memory. Each memory that is in the mind becomes a reminder. The reminder is to let us know what we should and should not do as we move along our lives.

To erase any memory is hard, it’s all we have, can’t go back to how it happen, or to avoid it from happening, it is just but just a memory.

Closure

The closure is found,
The question answered,
The reasons known,
The relationship ended.

Healed a part in the heart of mine,
One of many of different encounters,
This, the one that brave to oblige,
Than others that shun, like cowards and hide.

Peace in the heart, an answered prayer,
A light you shown to make it clearer,
For you have helped to show the path
Lesser the obstacles as I continue to march

A wish to be loved or cared

When you fall sick, you wish that someone is there with you. But when there isn't anyone around, its up to you to pick yourself up to care for your own.

A need to have someone there with you not only warms yourself up, but to know that someone cares for you. A person that would be there for you when you are not able to do the things yourself, to assist you in ways so that you can rest better.

This sort of thing does not fall to everyone as some do live alone and does not have someone to care for. When there is times you fall sick, you'd get calls from friends or maybe a visit from them, though sometimes you do get visits, but its not the one you want.

You want to be pampered a little or to be cared by your loved one.

Well, wake up and smell the roses, cause for you guys who is gonna be alone and yet to be in a relationship, you need to care and love yourself more than anyone who is gonna give their attention to you.

Till that time comes, at least, know something, know deep down inside your heart that, in life, to love oneself is the best thing you ever could do for yourself and that someone that pours their care and love for you is an added bonus.

You can't demand from it, you can't ask for it, you can only allow it to come as it pleases.

Strange Feelings

When the feelings come, how should we feel,
Should we do to leave it, embrace it, or discard it?
No matter what you do to it, no matter how,
The first touch of it you sense it somehow.

Touch to your heart this strange little feeling,
A sense of happiness,
A sense of sorrow,
A sense of fear,
Or a sense like there's no tomorrow.

When these feelings come what should we do,
To some you envy 'cause they know what to do,
To some when they handle they show in their faces,
To some they hide in their hearts without any traces,

Strange feelings come and go,
A visitor you are to whomever you go,
Be a friend, a foe or whatever you are,
You are liked or hated that's what you are.

Strange feelings be good or bad,
It will always be there, so how should we care?
An answer you seek will never be there,
It will be time should you know how to bare.

Stray or not to stray...

I once received a mail from a guy, stating that doesn't know what to do. He don't know what to do is because he found himself thinking of 'straying'.

The question to pose here is should we stray or not, hence comes to a more common term between couples, should it be completely, exclusively monogamous or should it be an open relationship. This does applies to both aspects of heterosexuals and the homosexuals.

I guess its the same for both of the sexual orientations as they tend to stray, well more for the guys to stray than the girls, but then again, its a fact that guys do have a shorter span on what is deemed a true commitment to the other. Girls out there, don't smile or even smirk, though I say guys do that, doesn't mean that the girls don't do it too. ;)

In the beginning of everything, the love is strong, burning hot, but what happens when the fire dissipates, it is then we have to make sure it does not, if not, when the fire dies, so does the love to one another. For a straight couple, though married, there are growing cases of divorce, and for the same sex, the party goes looking for another. But how is it that we should keep it going?
It all comes to the couple itself and no other that can help. It takes two hands to clap, thus saying that, both have to work on it to keep the flame burning.

But, to most of them, they don't tend to talk about it, but rather goes looking for another secretly, there are that those who talked it out and even agree on either

1. That both have to find something to spice up the relationship, do something new together or something.

2. That both party are up to meet other people to have their own 'strays' as long it does not affect the relationship. It could end up either both party finding their own outsiders to fulfill their lust or invite a guy/girl that both agree for a threesome. :)

There is no point of trying to stray by oneself and end up if the other half finds out, one will be having more things to explain. I know that some people said that its better left silent than to talk it out, but I really do feel that talking out will bare lesser pain than actually by hearing it from other people or finding out by themselves.

The beginning of the rambling blogger...

Today's the first time I should start of my ramblings. Thanks to a certain person who says I should keep up with writing my thoughts out than rather keeping everything to myself. To those who read, please bare in mind that it is in no way try to offend anyone whatsover but just out of the feelings that sometimes depends on the mood of the blogger. :) It might be disturbing. LOL. But then again, nobody write everything in a happy happy self. It is once in a blue moon, hmmm.. maybe not once in a blue moon, situational changes in the environment that the writings would be good and also bad (the sad, morbid stuffs).

Happy reading, or maybe, cautious reading. Don't let me affect you. LOL.