Cost of Marriage...Seriously!?!!

Now...let us ask ourselves a simple question....how much does it really cost to get married? When your other half asks you..."Let's get married!", what is the first thought that comes into your mind? Could it be:

1. How long will I spend my time with my partner?
2. How many kids will I get?
3. How much must I spend for studio photos, restaurant, etc.?

I might not speak for all...but I guess the majority will think of point no. 3

Seriously...how much do you spend on snapping your wedding pictures? It's true that it will bring back memories of the beautiful poses/clothes that you and your partner have taken. (Not to mention under the hot sun if you decided to take some outdoor pictures). Reality check a bit, how much does the package cost? RM3,000? RM4,000 or it could go skyrocketing to more than RM10,000? Not to mention the rental of the gowns and the make up that you have to pay for the wedding dinner reception.

Talking about the wedding dinner reception, how much do you pay for the restaurant or for the hotel ballroom? All in all, if we combine all the costs (which there are some things that I did not mention here), does it not reach up to at least RM30,000 and above?

I often wonder, why splurge so much? You could have use it for a down payment to a house or a condo. That is more materialistic, don't you think?

The types of people we deal with at work...

I've learned through my working life, I've met with loads of different types of people in the organization. To deal with these types of people, it is either we ignore them, we work with them, or we just quit from the organization.

It is not the job that we have to leave the organization, we could be loving the job, but it is the people inside them that we can't stand that makes us want to leave. Though if you think you can have a very strong and invisible shield to protect yourself from the attacks, you might as well endure the every day banters and slurs from them, and even at some point, being pulled into a political war in the organization.

Though it could be tiring sometimes when we "fight" the war, but it is because we love the job, we have to fight.

Why do these people start the war? Well, it could be because they feel that they've been threatened in the organization, they might loose their recognition or maybe their respect as we may have surpass their level of competence in the organization.

Envious they can be, but if they think they can stay in the organization by using some sort "strategical" move, which is mostly back-stabbing, they can only go so far by just enhancing this sort of skill but nothing that really brings value to their core skills. Imagine if you put in the area of skills in your resume, "Back-stabbing (Rate: 10)".

How far can this sort of person stay in the corporate ladder? Do they need to learn to do the other skills like "Suck-up to Bosses" skill?

Can we just remove the bushes?

I found that some people just like to play the “beating around the bush” game. They find a pleasure if they are in the zone of this game. I just don’t understand what is so good about this game? Does anyone?

Why give people the impression that you show interest, entertaining the person, giving positive vibes and in the end, it goes nowhere. Is it better to do this than to say out directly in the face of the people what you really feel and say that it might not work out? Do you think that doing the best by not telling will be a better way to smoothen out the person’s pursue that the person will in the end will just forget about it or maybe get tired of waiting? I say to those people who does this, you are so wrong. Do you know that by doing so, you’d actually cause people more pain?

Why waste each others time? Don’t like it, speak out, and get on with your life and let the other get on with theirs. Letting people figure out it later is not the way. Giving false hope to people for the reason you are using them for your own pleasure and convenience is so lame.

Those are being pursued always think that they have this little special “power” to lure them in their game, but do note that “What goes around, comes around”. Those who think that it will not happen to them because they are in the zone, time will tell. It will hit you when you least expect it, and then, lets see how you feel being the person played out rather than the player. “Nuff said.

Scars

When a couple ended the relationship, there are two different type of behavior that you would see in these two individuals. One would be so glad that the relationship has ended while the other just couldn’t believe that the relationship they had has ended.

One will crave to have the relationship back. The other craves to look for another one better or maybe want to be single for the time being.

The concern would not be the one who would be happy for the reason that the relationship has ended as their mind would have the least pain, maybe a little reminiscence of what they have cherished, and the rest of the memories, one less big headache to think or to care about.

The concern, would be the one that just lost its partner, just couldn’t bear with the loss. The searing knife through the heart would best describe how this person would be feeling. Though it will heal, the scar would still remain. Not unless there is a scar remover is there to save the day, the healing would be only be part and not fully to the person.

As for the scar remover, this would only appear if the person who is feeling the pain to stop comparing whatever he/she had before with the one they have right now. If the person is way better than the previous, I would say that this sort of scar remover works very well. But if the scar remover is not that great, the pain is still there. It wouldn’t help; hence the best way is to tell the one who is hurting that there is no point in comparing. Enough of thinking back, thinking that they were in wrong, but to think that every experience is just part of the life; it is part of the learning curve of understanding what relationship is all about. There is no such thing as a bed of roses. There is no such thing as happily ever after. In every relationship, there are always ups and downs.

In reality, even the well educated in the world would face some problems in their relationship. So why blame on own self that we are the reason that the other does not want us. Why not think about, of they don’t want us, it’s their lost. They don’t even know what they have lost.

Some people may find a perfect match, those are lucky, some might not, and they have to try few keys in order to find the correct key to the door. Some people complain that things are not going their way. It is because they think that they are the problem, the next person standing in front of them somehow is invisible. They might even loose sight of what they longed to have but since people try hard to become visible in front of them would give up and perhaps try to knock on some other people’s door. Chance given and not taken will loose up even more as they are not open enough to accept.

Should the scar heal, removed or remains depends solely on how open one self is towards their perspective and beliefs of relationship.

Keeping up with the Joneses

I wonder if you have encountered this before, but the fact that I’ve been with some or more or less the different type classes of people, I can safely say that it is not easy to live up to some other’s people lifestyle.

I’d like to bring in an example of a bunch of guys who enjoys the finest things in life, coffees, dining; shopping should at least be in the standards of first upper to upper class price range. Any expenditure that goes lower that the price range, well not that they don’t go for the lesser, but the fact is that they only do it once in a blue moon, and that it considered lucky if you are able to find a specific time that they actually go for the simpler things.

Question is, if they spend as much as they could afford, and the others can’t, does that mean that they would only accept people of that stature and nothing less. Does that mean that any people who earns lesser than the others, or does not have the liberty to spend as unreservedly due to heavy commitments would deemed unworthy to join the group? Does it ever occur to the people who spend as much as they could ever think of the others who can’t afford? Does this means that the acceptance level of a friend, a buddy, a groupie has to be set to that?

I simply do not understand that in order to be with this bunch of people, you simply have to spend like they do. Is this the new requirement that needs to be set in order to join the band wagon?

Requirement Officer: Places to go for coffee?
A: Erm, mamak stall
B: Starbucks of course
Requirement Officer: Places to go for dinner?
A: Mamak of course, simple and cheap
B: Sheesh, somewhere posh I would say, perhaps dinner in Pavilion?
Requirement Officer: Well, Mr. A, I am sorry that you do not qualify to join the group as your requirement for the simple things in life does not fulfill our standards, but Mr. B, we welcome you with open arms!

If we are unable to join them, does it also mean that we are not worthy to be a friend to them or to even to be deserved to be called a decent human being? Are we all deemed as low life Homo sapiens that are not good enough for them? Why?

The value of oneself in an organization

Many things have happened these few days, and apparently, some for the good and some bad. As of September 2008, the rambler has once again left the organization and has landed in another. One year in the old organization has made this rambler missed certain things of the organization, and also happy for the fact that the rambler can officially say, “Good riddance to bad rubbish!”

The good and the bad of jumping to a new organization,

1) We have to built up our seniority in the organization again

2) Getting used to the new organization’s culture

3) Learning new things (that is if you are joining a different industry). This is a hard one as one has to learn to really get to know stuffs which might and might not be our cup of tea, but for the sake of money, we do it anyway, we have to bite the bullet.

4) Perhaps, this is just a perhaps, to climb up the new organization’s corporate ladder from the bottom up.

Some people will say, “Hey, its good for you, new exposure, better expansion of your skills, your resume’s gonna look good!” Come to think of it, it is easier said than done. The other people are only able to say, but it is us that we have to really go through the obstacles that are presented to us.

Again, there is never a greener pasture in wherever we go, well a little bit of green patch here and there. But the rest, it is like “Holy shit! I have to do this?” It is so true that when the organization hires you, it is not for the reason of expanding, but mostly is because their human capital in the particular department has been depleted, and we are going in to fill in the blanks.

What is more saddening is that there is always an ulterior motive of why we are hired for the organization. It is not the value of our skills that we have been hired, but for the fact that we can actually give information of what you have in your previous company and being used in the new. Now, is this what we call value? Are we really being appreciated to enter the new organization for the fact that our skills carry some credentials, or for the fact that we have some information, that they would like to take from us?

It is suppose to be a win-win situation, but till now, after a week in the organization, I see that the main reasons for hiring is more of the organization’s winning side, and as for me, nothing much to look forward to.

How is it that an organization is to compete is to look at how much they can pinch from the other organization, and use you to the fullest, and perhaps, just perhaps that we are being awarded for leaking previous organization’s information to the new.

To survive in the new organization, is to use what we have from the old, and place it to the new, hence, a porting of information or secrets.

In the end, are we branded a spy?

The Hi-Lo of a Job/Comany

Coming to a year, in a job which I hope will last me a couple of years before I climb higher ended up in shambles when things began to become a little shaky. It has come to a point where situation arise, do I work for the money which also means that I have to suffer all the pain and torture from the company? Or do I work for the enjoyment of working (which of course, money counts).

Regardless of how hectic the work is, but if we do enjoy the job, we would likely to stay on with the company. But if the work is hectic, but do not even enjoy the job; it automatically makes us sick to the bone. That would means that we are hoping to get out of the situation, hence, looking for another job.

Here are two situations:

If the company is good with its benefits and pay, but hires you for the wrong job, would you consider staying?

If the company is not really good with its benefits and pay, hires you for the right job, would you consider staying?

I believe that some people come across these two situations above. But do we get a chance to get to have the best of both situations above, good with its benefits and pay, with you liking the job?

Sometimes when we are hired, we may just be filler to a job but you are not good at the work, you would automatically prove to the people that you are not efficient or effective. Would this leave a scar in our records to HR when the dreaded yearly performance evaluation is done?

Though some people might say, because of the good benefits and pay, we should strive on to work in the organization, but at the expense of having heart palpitations every time when we are in the office. The joy of feeling happy was automatically sucked away leaving you drained and tired. It takes a lot to build up one person’s confidence and emotions to be very happy, but it only takes one sweep by the company, we fall flat.

Does the company actually know what it means by hiring the people for the right job? Or they are just building the human capital in the organization, just to ensure that someone is there to do the work. But when faults or problems arise, we are the ones that are being punished.

Somehow, the way we look at the company, is the way we look at our superiors. It is our superiors that represent the company and we would automatically see the company through our superiors. Though the company might be good in any sense, we are forced to leave just because we are being penalized by our superiors and the fact they do not see that they made the wrong move in the beginning. Hence, we see the company as a bad place to be.

"Hire the right person for the job and not just hire for the sake of hiring."

Nuff said